Sunday, October 23, 2016

hello? it's me.

I think it's fair to say that the art of listening is in trouble.  There's nothing new I can even say on the subject, since there's literally a TED playlist on the issue (which, by the way, I highly recommend, even if you just watch this one by Celeste Headlee) and I don't presume to think I'm going to solve the problem on my little blog.


Listening, at it's very basic level, is assigning importance to the person who is communicating.  When my twin girls cough and sputter whilst munching on carpet Cheerios* I (usually) check on them to make sure they aren't choking.  They are important to me.

When someone isn't listening to what is being said the presumption is that they don't care about the person speaking.  Like if you're picking your nose and daydreaming, or simultaneously texting, or choreographing a dance to your favourite Adele song, or sleeping.  Or saying "wrong" in the middle of their sentences.

Sometimes we listen, sometimes we don't.  That's human.  What irks me in the propensity to claim that you've listened, that you've designated importance to the person who is communicating, when you haven't.  Be honest.  If you haven't listened, if you have no intention of listening, don't confuse it with actual listening.

It's my belief that this simple understanding would solve, like, 89.7% of the world's problems.

* Exactly what you might think.  Cheerios scattered like petting zoo feed on and around the carpet area of our living room.  Don't judge.  We have twins.  It keeps them happy.

1 comment:

Andrea said...

Hey! Been tryin to connect with you for ages! Check your fb pms and send me a text ��