baby jesus

It's weird to think of Jesus as a baby.

I mean, really. A baby.

I've had two baby brothers. One was born when I was twelve years old, so I pretty much know the drill. The diapers, the crying, the cooing, the way you want to eat their chubby cheeks up with kisses every time you see them. The way they sleep. The way they grab hold of one of your fingers with their entire fist.

And that was the Son of God. Totally helpless. Entirely dependent. Vulnerable. Simple.

It hit me today when I heard this carol:

Mary did you know that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
Mary did you know that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters?
Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you.

Mary did you know that your baby boy would give sight to a blind man?
Mary did you know that your baby boy would calm a storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?
And when you kiss your little baby, you have kissed the face of God.

Oh Mary did you know

The blind will see, the deaf will hear,  the dead will live again.
The lame will leap, the mute will speak, the praises of the lamb.

Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?
Mary did you know that your baby boy would one day rule the nations?
Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?
This sleeping child you're holding is the great I am.

("Mary, Did You Know?")

the beautiful reflection

Alright, ladies (and some guys - I know you're out there), you've come to the right place for details.

He picks me up from work and we start driving into the city. "But," I argue, "aren't we meant to meet up with Jacob and Carolyn?"

"They canceled. Wanted to stay in tonight instead."

[Lies, all lies.]

We ended up at Ki (in the BCE Place) which is a favourite of Andrew's and a restaurant that we've wanted to go to since we started dating, but haven't had the chance. Salad, sushi and sake later, Andrew's jumpy to leave...

[I later discovered he visited the bathroom to intercede for himself.]

We stop at a Starbucks long enough for me to jump out, run in and buy two teas while Andrew circled the block.

[I later discovered he drove around the block interceding for himself.]

We drove to University College, King's College Circle which is a very sentimental spot for us. Andrew graduated from this college, we love walking its halls and outdoor paths, and, most memorably, we had our first kiss outside its big, double doors.

But hark! Before we exit the car, now parked outside University College with the engine running, Andrew reaches into the back of the car to pull out a stack of paper with writing on it. For a moment, I think he brought office work with him on date night. But lo! It's not office work, but handwritten notes he wrote out from his journal entries over the past two years.

Oh my.

He started reading, I started crying. I don't recall much of what he was saying...so it was convenient that he let me have the notes to keep. His journal, from the beginning of our relationship, had been peppered with thoughts about me, prayers for me, prayers about me and some of the most beautiful prose I had ever heard between himself and God about Andrew's dreams, his trust in something unknown, and his desire to honour me.

He ended the notes, wiped his eyes, looked at me with love in his eyes and stammered:

"That's it. Just wanted you to know some of that stuff."

Oh. So we got out of the car, he ran back to "get mints"...

[I later discovered he had forgotten the ring in the car. Although, to his credit, he did return with two mints.]

...and we went into the college to walk the halls. Upon discovering that the front doors had been locked while were were inside...

[Which again was unfortunate because Andrew had thought to propose after we had grandly walked out through them.]

...so we walked through the college and out a side exit. Meandering towards the soccer pitch in the middle of King's College Circle, Andrew asked, "What's the word for something like vertigo but you're looking around at things in a circle, instead of straight down?"

I did not know.

[This is because there is no such thing. Although I didn't know that at the time. Convenient for Andrew.]

So we slid ourselves across the frozen field to the middle of it to test this panorama-vertigo-that-didn't-exist. I had spun around once, twice, three times (not feeling anything) and a fourth for good measure (still nothing) when Andrew pulled me into a hug and whispered into my ear the kindest words I had ever heard from a human.

Then he knelt.

Me: "What are you doing? It's snowy."

Then he took my hand. Oh.

He: "Sarah, you would make me the happiest man in the world if you would be my wife."

He pulls out a blue Birks box, I think. The box was a marginal distraction to the look on his face. He fumbles with the ribbon on the box. Opens the box. Opens the ring box.

He tries again: "Sarah Aubrey Hunter, will you be my wife?"

At this point I realized that the question he had asked, asked twice, would continue asking until I answered, the same question I had rehearsed a thousand times in my head, was such a silly one. As if he had to ask. But I'm so glad he finally had.

Me: "Of course!" As the two and a half feet height difference was suddenly unbearable, I dropped to my knees and messily covered him with teary, snotty, cold kisses. "Of course, of course, of course. Of course, you silly boy."

Hysterical laughter ensued and Andrew shouted, "I'M GOING TO HAVE A WIFE!" which, I believe, was overheard by a small pack of university students of Indian descent.

Then back to the car to call his parents and mine.
And I've never been so happy or at rest in my entire life.

You are the beautiful reflection
Of his love's affection,
A walking illustration
Of his adoration

His love makes you beautiful,
So beautiful,
So beautiful,
You ask your looking glass,
What is it?
Makes you so exquisite?
The answer to your query
Comes back, dearie --
His love makes you beautiful,
So beautiful,
So beautiful,
And woman loved is woman glorified!
You'll make a beautiful,
Beautiful,
Beautiful,
Beautiful bride!

("A Beautiful Bride", Funny Girl)