life is beautiful

This morning, I discovered that two of the most amazing human beings and wonderful friends have re-emerged on the Blogspot scene:

The dashing Miss Linda
and
The eloquent Mr Jacob

Not to mention my very own wonderful fiance,

The charming Mr Andrew

who has faithfully kept me company in blogland for over two years now (since before we were together...it was love at first comment).

I experienced such a flood of affection for both Linda and Jacob when I read their recent posts - a beautiful revelation about Valentine's Day from Linda's and a stunning memoir of his grandmother's funeral on Jacob's. Poking around the archives I could remember all the joys, pains and dramas of when I first welcomed into this family. The joys, pains and dramas now look so small in comparison to the joys, pains and dramas we face today...which will look minuscule in comparison to the joys, pains and dramas that we will face in the future...

I'm so ridiculously blessed to have met such incredible people. I can only hope that though time, geography and circumstance continue to alter our paths that they will still run parallel. At least in blogland.

And I think over again
My small adventures
When with a shore wind I drifted out
In my kayak
And thought I was in danger.

My fears,
Those small ones
That I thought so big,
For all the vital things
I had to get and to reach.

And yet, there is only
One great thing,
The only thing:
To live and to see in huts and on journeys
The great day that dawns,
And the little light that fills the world.
- a Native song, posted on the TTC

but you can't jump the track
we're like cars on a cable
and life's like an hourglass
glued to the table
no one can find the rewind button now
sing it if you understand
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe
oh breathe, just breathe
oh breathe, just breathe
- Anna Nalik, Breathe (2 am)

happy v-day

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death of a salesman

After date night with Andrew last night I curled into a ball on my bed, fully clothed, and was halfway asleep when my roommate, peering into my room, woke me with a tentative, "Sarah, honey? Are you going to get under the covers?"

Verbal intimacy is the most wonderful, beautiful, fulfilling, glorious, heavenly thing I have experienced. It's also exhausting.

What I realized after last night was that I love and respect Andrew more the smaller he becomes in his own eyes. I know him to be a strong man, a brave man, a leader, a hero and a fighter but it's when he tells me that he's a weak man, a scared man, a follower and a draft-dodger that I know I'm in love with a human.

It takes more courage to admit weakness than it does to boast of strength.

God illuminated the word 'gentleness' for me once. Gentleness, he explained, is strength. What Jesus drew upon to submit to arrest and torture, to stay silent during interrogation, to carry his own cross to the place of execution, to make provisions for his mother, and to forgive us before he died was ultimate strength. Strength to recognize that something else was in control, strength to recognize that he didn't have to defend his case, strength to submit, strength to love until the end, strength to give up.

Strength like that leaves me speechless.

I have never seen Andrew as strong as he was last night.

In death there are hidden invisible keys
(Sleeping at Last)

"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise;
God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong."
(1 Corinthians 1:27)

I need a hero 
I'm holding out for a hero 'till the end of the night 
He's gotta be strong 
And he's gotta be fast 
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
(Frou Frou)