I am a follower of Jesus, I was once a pastor, and I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for being homophobic.
I'm sorry that through my actions and words people who are
struggling with and hiding their sexuality were meant to feel silenced and
shameful and less than.
I'm sorry for trying to "pray the gay away", and
for buying into the ex-gay theory. However well intentioned, I
acknowledge I was part of the problem. After
years of prayer, conversations, and study I recognize I was in the wrong. I'm sorry for acting like you needed to be
fixed.
I'm sorry for elevating the example of a heterosexual,
married couple as the ultimate goal and making you feel alienated.
I'm sorry that even though none of it sat well with me, that
I felt there must be a better way, after having a revelation in 2004 about the
beauty of atonement, reading Acts 10 where it says, “Do not call anything impure
that God has made clean.” and having a personally profound change of heart, I
still promoted homophobia by not speaking up. I’m sorry for being a
closeted ally. I’m sorry for leaning on
my privilege as a cis-gendered person and figuring it was someone else’s cause
to take up.
I’m sorry that it’s taken some of us a really long time to figure
this out.
I’m sorry that you felt the need to choose between your
affections and your faith. I’m sorry
that I haven’t been more open about my support of equal marriage rights. I’m sorry that my silence has come at a great
cost to you, because equal rights opponents aren’t afraid to speak their minds.
Someone I know says, “The church has been the main source of hatred, misunderstanding, suffering, and division in regards to the gay
community for more than 100 years. If
all we do is love them, help them, support them, unconditionally, and shut our
mouths for the next 100 years then perhaps we have earned the right to speak
again.”
There is so much more to this revelation than a quick post, and I haven't come to conclusions in a vacuum. In fact, the very wording and posting of my opinion here has been revised and edited for well over two years. Some won't be happy with it. Many will disagree with it. I sincerely hope that I can continue to find in them love, acceptance, and relationship despite differing opinions and that the lines of communication and debate will remain open. But this post isn't primarily for them. It's for you. For you, I'm speaking up.
There is so much more to this revelation than a quick post, and I haven't come to conclusions in a vacuum. In fact, the very wording and posting of my opinion here has been revised and edited for well over two years. Some won't be happy with it. Many will disagree with it. I sincerely hope that I can continue to find in them love, acceptance, and relationship despite differing opinions and that the lines of communication and debate will remain open. But this post isn't primarily for them. It's for you. For you, I'm speaking up.
I support you, I celebrate you, I love you. Because
love is love.
Some things that have helped:
- Lovely, open-hearted, patient and gracious LGBTQ friends
- Acts 10
- “Epiphany” by Michael Coren
- “Torn” by Justin Lee
- An apology from church leaders to the LGBTQ community
