1/wk, wk 1

It's 2015.

I like making goals.

This year, one of my goals is to do one house project per week.  52 house projects in total (some are two week long projects, so...you know, numbers have to be crunched, etc.).

I thought up this "one per week" (which goes by the street name "1/wk") idea since New Year's goals/resolutions can be daunting, and by daunting I mean tackled vehemently for the first three months of the year, then felt guilty about for the next three months, then utterly forgotten, then only vaguely remembered around Christmas.  CYCLE COMPLETE.  This way, if a week is missed because of illness or lack of energy or too much wine or something more noble, a new, fresh, exciting week is just around the corner and, with it, another chance to complete a goal.

If you're still reading, you:
a) used to read my blog and are wondering where I went,
b) also like making goals,
c) have a house, with projects that need doing,
d) are sitting at a desk in a cubicle around 3:00 p.m., a.k.a. "I'm So Bored I'll Click Every Link I Come Across" o'clock,
or e) all of the above.

Week 1: Hip Nautical Curtain Tie-Backs For Under $30*

Time required: 10 minutes

Materials required:

• rope (Michaels)
• galvanized cleat (Canadian Tire) (helps if is miss-priced)
• roll of twine (Dollarama)
• glue gun (Walmart)
• scissors, or very sharp teeth 

I'm providing my retail sources not because I believe in them as retailers, but because I wholeheartedly believe that home improvement and especially DIY projects should not only be affordable but cheap.  It's part of the fun. 

Technically, you also need a few screws, washers, and a screwdriver but I just raided my garage for these items and you can't raid my garage for these items as well.  You have to find your own.

Here's the final product, since the image is worth a thousand step-by-step...steps.  If you have questions, please feel free to ask in the comments.  Otherwise, it's pretty straight forward.  

This is how legit-non-fancy I am.  Under the aforementioned DIY project is our empty luggage waiting to be taken outside to the garage since we just unpacked from a staycation.  Outside the sliding door is a Little Free Library which my brother made me for Christmas.  Another 1/wk project - stay tuned.

*  My parents own a sailboat so, for me, this project is sentimental as well as practical.  Feel free to copy if sailing isn't your thing, or if you want it to be your thing, or you've been perusing any one of the 3,498,201 websites, blogs, and apps and notice that the nautical theme is So Hot Right Now.

wifercize wednesday: hormones and hand sanders

Andrew has been such a dear in keeping up with his hormone-flooded wife.  The downsides have included fits of frustration (generally nesting related or sleep deprivation related) followed by a gush of tears.

A few months ago I decided to tidy the first floor of our house.  AND I HAD TO DO IT RIGHT.  NOW. Coming across a few pairs of Andrew's shoes in the hallway, I asked him if he would like me to put them in the front closet or upstairs in the bedroom.  He told me to hold on one moment, as he was busy paying a bill online.

I waited a moment.  I waited a moment more.  Still answerless, I abandoned the shoes and stormed off to complete some other equally-as-pressing task until Andrew tracked me down and asked me if I was OK (the banging of objects tipped him off).

"Yes.  I'm fine."  (I wasn't.)
"Reeally?  You don't seem fine.  Are you mad?"
"No.  I'm not."  (I was.)
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know."  (I didn't.)

About 10 minutes after this futile discussion Andrew was back on the couch and I furtively joined him.  I sat as close as I could manage with my bulky abdomen, put my head on his shoulder, and started crying.

"Are you crying?  What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry."  (I was.)
"That's OK.  For what?"
"I don't know."  (I still didn't.)

Andrew has been wonderful at decoding (or, rather, lovingly disregarding) many of my extreme ups and downs and for this I am grateful.  The truth is that, most of the time, I truly don't know why I'm upset.  In the past week alone, the answers to "Are you crying?  What's wrong?" have included "I'm tired.  And you're nice." to "This movie is too sad."  Both legitimate answers.  To me.  At the time.

Another behavioural development has been a slightly unhinged desire to refinish furniture, as mentioned on Monday.  The first of which was a stool.

I spotted the stool on the side of the road the day Andrew and I were parking near St. Joe's hospital for an ultrasound appointment.  It was a painted (chipping), white (yellowing), wooden stool with a slab of the seat broken off.  I thought it was marvelous.

After my dad reattached the broken seat with carpenter's glue, it looked a little something like this:

After a generous sanding with my handy Black & Decker GelMax Mouse Sander and Polisher with Touch Zone Technology, it looked like this:

And after two coats of black CIL semi-gloss latex interior paint (primer included!) it looked exactly the way I wanted it to:

You might remember that I've been working on this little plot of the house ever since I designed my own wire hooks to display decorative French cheese plates on the wall:

Since it's completion, I am happy to report that it is the first DIY project that Oberon approves of.  In fact, he approves of it so much he almost exclusively owns property rights to it.

"How handy," he told me when I placed the finished stool in the kitchen.  "You've finally given me the throne I so rightfully deserve.  From here I shall survey my kingdom and all that transpires throughout."

foto friday: plate tectonics

Since this is the second day of my new life, and since the weather outside looks like this:

I decided to figure out how to mount cute French plates on my wall.  As one does.

Last night, Andrew and I went to IKEA, The Most Magical Place On Earth, to pay our bi-monthly respects.  While I was there I asked a sales representative if they carried plate hangers.

Me: "Do you carry plate hangers?"
She: [blank look]
Me: "Like dish hooks.  For mounting dishes on the wall?"
She: "Um.  I think you can use, like, any kind of hook."

I didn't bother wasting any more of my precious IKEA shopping time explaining to her that, no, you can not just use, like, any kind of hook.

Today I Googled "plate hangers" and none other than Martha Stewart was there to greet me with her light teal-themed and easy to read website.  So I thought, what the heck?  Let's try to make some plate hangers.

This is the space I envisioned the plates to be hanged - in our kitchen between the back door and a window.  It's not such a drab space but...

...after finding these at a local Kitchen Stuff Plus for $14.95:

I knew I wanted to use them as decorative wall hangings.  Andrew wanted to use them as plates for Camembert.  Where do these boys get their ideas?

Ingredients: hammer and small nails, pliers*, scissors (or wire-cutters if your wire is thicker), and wire.  I just used the wire that comes with a standard picture frame mounting kit.

Cut two pieces of wire approximately 3" longer** than the diameter of the plate:

Make a loop in the middle of one piece:

And make a "V" in the middle of the other piece:

Slide the "V" piece through the loop and let it hang.  Twist once or twice.***

I have a habit of skimming instructions including owner's manuals, warning labels and, evidently, Martha Stewart's womb-like website.  As you can see here, I distinctly ignored her advice to "position the wires on the plate so the top of the loop hits the edge of the plate's base" and instead put it smack in the middle.  No harm done but my plates lean a little further forward than I had expected - almost as if they're staring down at me from the wall.  Friendly-like.

Once the pieces are stretched tight across the back of the plate, bend the ends over the lip and make a little loop (cutting off any excess wire on the back).  These "claws" should be long enough to hold the weight of the plate but small enough that they don't take over the visual appeal.

Ta-da!  Cute French plates on the wall!

And, since I only used 2 of the available 4 plates, Andrew can still use a few to serve actual Camembert. Although I was pleased with the final outcome I still had to submit it to the critics.

Solomon gave it an A+.

Oberon gave it a D.  He was repulsed by it at first, then ran to hide under this chair where he acted disinterested long enough for me to take a picture.  He gave no comment.

* This whole project would have been 34% easier if I had (or could find our) needle-nosed pliers.  Instead, I used the honking pliers you see in the photo.  I would recommend needle-nosed.

** HEED MARTHA'S ADVICE!  I eyeballed my second hanger and cut one piece too short.  After approximately 20 minutes, and assorted expletives, I had to cut a new piece - this time, approximately 3" longer than the diameter of the plate.

*** I also muddled this: I twisted an average of 6-7 times to ensure maximum strength and prevention of my pretty plates slipping from their nails and smashing all over the kitchen floor while Solomon licks the shards and I scream at him and weep.  It made the loop a little bulky behind the plate but, otherwise, I'm satisfied.