mama monday: brood

I'm now receiving friendly reminders from people on Facebook:

So here's the thing.  Now that I work from home I have approximately 60 extra hours a week that I haven't had at my disposal since...infancy.  It's been wonderful to eat when I want, nap when I want (AND I WANT), read when I want, clean when I want, and write when I want.

Which is the problem.

I don't often feel like writing.

Or, rather, I feel like writing but I have all this time to make it GOOD.  And the more guilty I feel about not writing, the worse it is.  I had hoped all this free time would inspire me to write and write and WRITE my little fingers to nubs due to the overflow of passion and insight and optimism and revelation.

Instead, all this free time has inspired me to brood.

brood (verb)

1. think deeply about something that makes one unhappy : he brooded over his need to find a wife.
2. (of a bird) sit on (eggs) to hatch them.
   (of a fish, frog, or invertebrate) hold (developing eggs) within the body.
3. (of silence, a storm, etc.) hang or hover closely : a winter storm broods over the lake.

So it's not surprising as I sit around and "think deeply about something that makes me unhappy" that I would also be hatching, holding, and hovering over my writing without having much to show for it.  I guess it's the same as motherhood sometimes.  Lots of time spent brooding before you have a brood.

"Mother doesn't like me playing Beethoven.
She says I'm always peevish afterwards."
- Lucy Honeychurch

(A Room With A View, E.M. Forester)