Showing posts with label maturity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label maturity. Show all posts

Monday, November 08, 2010

mama monday: tick-tock, biological clock


I was out with a lovely young lady for lunch today who asked me when my biological clock began to chime.  She, concerned that she wasn't as "baby crazy" as her peers, wondered if it was normal not to want to pop out infants in multiples during her early 20s.

I assured her it was.

Last week, I joked that my friends were once convinced that my biological clock was digital.  It make no sound, it sounded no alarm.  For years, while girlfriends dated, engagified, married, pregnacized, and baked cookies, I dated, wrote, worked, traveled, and ate out.  I didn't really "climb the corporate ladder" as much as I dramatically cascaded along bookshelves on a wheeled one, like Belle in Disney's Beauty & The Beast belting out a musical number.  I wasn't opposed to children, I just didn't have time for them.  They weren't a priority, and neither was domesticating.

On my 25th birthday (to the day), I felt the urge to go home, home to Toronto, like a migrating bird.  I wanted to nest close to my family.  When I met up with Andrew I experienced the unnerving sensation of being with the person the I was going to be with for the rest of my life, which added to the drive to settle down.  But once we were two years married and looking to start a family did I begin to suffer the phenomenon of Everyone-Is-Pregnant-Itis*.  Pregnant bellies bulge everywhere I go.  They bump me on public transit, they delay the elevators, they waddle throughout the supermarkets, they post ultrasound pictures on Facebook. 

I am convinced that the "settling down" chip, implanted in us from birth, implements whenever and however it is made to - each according to its host.  Some people make effervescent younger parents, either on purpose or by surprise, and some become refined older parents, again, not always according to script. 

When it does, all of a sudden, things like this will make you all quivery inside:

Similar to Everyone-Is-Getting-Married-Itis, which generally strikes those looking to find a special someone.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

30 before 30: 4 months and counting


I've been chronicling a list I came up with three years ago entitled "30 before 30": a list of 30 things I wanted to do before I turned 30. If you'd like to see its progression click here for the original, and here for the follow-up.

I turn 30 in 130 days.

Let's review, shall we?
  1. Take dance lessons again.
    Since I now head up the dancercession team that dances with the Freshwind Band when they lead worship, I think I can check this one off. Us in action.
  2. Get my driver's license.
    I applied for my G1. Again. But I still haven't done my driving test.
  3. Perform in live theater again.
    Does preaching count?
  4. Visit ESL teacher-friends in B.C.
    They came to visit me...but we didn't connect. There's still time, I suppose, in 130 days.
  5. Watch the Nutcracker live.
    I should have reviewed this list prior to Christmas. I still haven't seen the Nutcracker.
  6. Organize and attend a 10 year DTS reunion at Holmsted Manor.
    Hooray! My first real "check"! We just pulled this off last weekend.
  7. Attend a Coldplay concert.
    Viva la Vida tour: check!
  8. Visit my grandparents in Halifax, Nova Scotia.
    Last Thanksgiving weekend: check!
  9. Take vocal lessons. Preferably jazz.
    Still a goal of mine but doesn't look like it'll happen in the near future.
  10. Upgrade my B.A. to an honours.
    I researched this not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES and didn't follow through with any of them. In the end, I'm now researching taking creative writing courses instead. Since I like to creative write.
  11. Promote 24/7 Prayer (preferably a Boiler Room) in Toronto.
    Ran 24/7 Prayer room in 2008: check! On 24/7's provincial team: check! Still technically on their national base team, but MAN! it's been a while since I've been to a meeting...
  12. See my grade 6 teacher, Miss Huberts, again.
    An email counts, doesn't it? Check!
  13. Visit the twins I used to babysit, Dylan and Taylor, when I was a teenager.
    Adding them as Facebook friends and messaging them counts, doesn't it? Check!
  14. Find my pearl earrings.
    What a weird list. Didn't find them, but my amazing husband purchased me new ones.
  15. Finish my tattoo.
    Ouch. Forget it.
  16. Get into the habit of saving regularly.
    We're practicing "10/10": 10% for tithe, 10% towards savings, every paycheck. And we're saving $20 from every paycheck and putting it in a baby account for the future. Check!
  17. Write and publish a book.
    Writing one: check! Published: uncheck. Stay tuned.
  18. Host a proper, large-scale house party. At my own house.
    Oh so many to count... Check!
  19. Do a wine tasting tour in Niagara.
    This was the first one to be checked off: Andrew surprised me with a tour for our 1 year anniversary only two months after I made this list. Check!
  20. Get a credit card. Use it wisely.
    Three! Check!
  21. Spend one weekend in seclusion and silence away from the city.
    I've done Encounter weekends, camping weekends, bachelorette weekends, and trips overseas which were all away from various metropoliseseses, but they weren't spent in seclusion. Perhaps I can pull this off before my birthday?
  22. See Venice and Florence.
    Sob. Not yet.
  23. Do a day at the spa.
    Andrew and I spent the day at the Elmwood Spa just last month. Delicious. Check!
  24. Read The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoevsky.
    What th-? Why did I include this, of all novels? Uncheck. Uninspired.
  25. Volunteer with a homeless ministry downtown.
    Over 20 hours of volunteering a week, but not with a homeless ministry downtown. More like a homefull ministry in North York and the Junction.
  26. Do a Healing Week.
    As a premarital gift. Check!
  27. Go on a trip with each of my brothers, specific to them.
    Hey. What a cool idea. Adding to my short-list for the next 130 days...
  28. Scuba dive.
    Thought I would want to on honeymoon but, SURPRISE!, I ended up preferring lounging on the beach, sleeping, eating, and...other. Happily unchecked.
  29. Promote and support local artists, musicians and performers.
    I suppose my good friend Nicole pulled this off better than I did. I'm going to check off it anyway. IT'S MY LIST. Check!
  30. Get married.
    Checkity-check-check!
I'm at a 50% (generous) success rate but I'm happy with that. I've accomplished more than I thought I would (or could!) have by this age and I'm coasting into my 30s with a confidence, a joy, and a strength that I never had in my 20s. In the meantime, I think I'll try to knock off #2, #4, #21 and #27 before June 2, 2010. For fun.

Lists aren't simply for those who get a kick out of check marks (not that there's anything wrong with that...) but they're also a great way to gauge progress and the process that gets us there. If you feel inspired maybe you can write your own "30 before 30" list.

Just make sure Dostoevsky isn't on it.

"If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time."
- Zig Zigler

“If you set your goals ridiculously high & it’s a failure,
you will fail above everyone else's success.”

- James Cameron, via @andrewgazaneo

"Much stronger and wiser now I'd like to mention."
- Nicole Evans, candy store clock