mama monday: dolce far niente

A few girlies and I watched "Eat, Pray, Love" on the weekend and delighted in all 38% of its tomato-freshness.  None of us are sure why it received such poor reviews (it's schmaltzy, romantic and fluffy...and that's exactly what we wanted) but we didn't let it ruin our opinion(s), or our enjoyment of treating ourselves to manicures and pedicures afterwards.  Sugar and spice and everything nice.

I would have been just as happy to watch the film on mute, so beautiful were the scenes shot on location in Italy, India and Bali.  One particular scene, set in Rome, stuck with me:

Find more videos like this on www.truveo.com.

I may have taken a course dropped a course in introductory Italian during university, and I may be married into an Italian family presently, but - let me assure you - dolce far niente doesn't come easily to me.  As, I expect, is the case for many of us. 

The baby-making issue raises its little head from time to time, reminding me (as many others have reminded me) to "take things easy", "just relax", and "rest yourself".  Perhaps babies have the good sense to avoid being conceived in an environment that lacks peace. 

Happiness is one thing, peace is something else.  I can be hostessing a party, reorganizing my day timer, attending a conference, or traveling to another country and be COMPLETELY HAPPY.  I feel fulfilled, energized, and alive.  But I don't know if I could say that I feel peaceful.  I kind of feel more like this:

(from Hyperbole & A Half)

When I looked up the expression that has stabbed me in the brain ever since I heard it, dolce far niente, which literally means "the sweetness of nothing", I found images that inspired me.  The phrase seems to have inspired many more, since artist after artist painted "Dolce far Niente"s and they all looked similar.  Peace, tranquility, rest, poise, ease.

Doing nothing.

mama mondays: just chill

Obnoxiously, one of the things I keep reading about conception is the need to relax.  This is about as helpful a piece of advice as telling someone who has arachnophobia alllll the scientific findings about spiders that make them harmless.  Well intentioned.  Entirely counterproductive.

In my quest to discover this elusive state of rest (am I allowed to call it a "quest"?...is that too stressful a term?...is my over thinking the subject contributing to stress levels?) I've come across helpful advice and not-so-helpful advice.

This has lead to a symptom not unlike having Arnold-as-Mr-Freeze narrating chill puns looping in my mind.




I read this article which was helpful right up until I clicked to the third page of helpful hints and discovered the title: "15 Ways To De-Stress Your Life" wasn't lying and that 15 individual tips were too many to remember.  I'm supposed to be relaxing.

Browsing my office copy of Chatelaine magazine (because I'm 30 and Canadian and not at all predictable) a few days ago I came across another article called "7 Days to a Stress-Free You".  Fortunately, the list down from 15 to 7 and also pitched a stress-free me in a week's time!  Unfortunately, the Getty image they chose to show relaxation was of a peppy woman flashing an energized smile as she ties up her running shoe.  No.

So I turned to TED.  There's nothing like a TED talk to make me feel like whatever I'm spending my life doing isn't big, exciting, weird, enlightened or brilliant enough...but in a good way.  This time, Nic Marks talked about the Happy Planet Index: a global index of the "happiest" countries on earth, based on human well-being and environmental footprint.



In it, he outlines the 5 Ways to Well-Being: 

1. Connect
2. Be active
3. Take notice
4. Keep learning
5. Give



I completed #1, "Connect", the other day by telling a friend of mine about my plans to decrease stress in my life this autumn, starting with a lighter weekly schedule.  She, knowing me well, responded:

"My only recommendation, the fertility expert that I am, LOL, is that you don't just plan to take more Sarah-time from your weeks, but that you actually do take it. "

And so I've successfully cut down my methods of relaxation from 15, to 7, to 5, to 1.  Just chill.

Sometimes it's easier said than done.