Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I'll Fly Away...Oh Glory!

I was handed an airplane ticket this afternoon. I shrieked. Then I sat down. Then I held it really, really tight between both index fingers and thumbs and just...stared at it. Then, for a brief moment, I felt sad. Then I shrieked again.

The moment has come. I've been looking forward to it and dreading it, in equal parts, since this time last year. I dread it because the moment I'm on that plane, departing Incheon Internation Airport, this life - my apartment, my classroom, my school, the streets of my neighbourhood, my group of friends, my memories, this age, these memories - will no longer exist. One of my least favourite memories was going "under" whilst having my wisdom teeth extracted. I hated waking up, with cotton swabs in my mouth, and not being able to account for the past hour of my life. I love revisiting old places, old sites, old smells, old feelings, to remind myself that they existed. That I, at that time, existed. Korea is a year of life that will go unrevisited. And that's a bitter pill to swallow.

It's been an easier pill to swallow now that I have things to look forward to upon my return. I have officially been accepted by YWAM Toronto as a (yet untitled) staff member. I will soon see Kate, Nik, my amazing family - complete with two hilarious brothers who I have missed so much while I've been away - my beloved Toronto, my house on Malvern, Lake Ontario, etc...

And yet...

"One becomes, sometimes, a little incoherant in talking about it;...one loses temper in reasoning about what can only be felt."
- Henry Adams

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