Thursday, November 06, 2008

fo eva, eva

I like the state of familiarity that has settled upon our marriage.

I was recently pondering about the sheer amount of time a married couple spends sleeping - just sleeping - beside each other. Sharing the same bed. Breathing the same air. Wrestling with the same sheets. I wonder if that, together with the the act of making love, the plans for the future, the raising of children, accounts for the way couples gradually meld together over the years. All those hours, multiplied by days, weeks, years, spent completely at rest, sleeping, side by side. I figure since our minds, spirits and souls remain open while our bodies take a break (hence methods of nocturnal hypnosis, a là Chandler trying to quit smoking), this marriage-bed-osmosis has something to do with it.

This article, in the Globe Life section, entitled: The Science of a Long Marriage, which referenced the famed, 50-year, Newman/Woodward marriage, included this quote:

"There is scientific and psychological insight into the benefits of long-term marriage, and the reasons why marriages that survive often become better as they age. In the long run, marriage is a state of being that suits, even enhances, human biology, experts say."

I was scrumptiously reading my copy of October edition of Vogue when I came across an article written by Christina Thompson about her 20+ marriage with her husband. who delineated such a beautiful piece of prose it stuck in my mind for weeks after reading it:

"These days my husband and I have a lot in common: three sons, the dog, and two happy decades spent in each other's company. We are entwined in the way that only two people who have spent half their lives together can be. I love his peculiar ingenuity, the way he can make anything from scratch; still marvel at the circuitous pathways of his imagination; am still impressed by his phenomenal strength, as breathtaking at 47 as it was at 25. These qualities...have gradually become as familiar as my own hand."

Don McKay
's words come back to me nearly two and a half years after Andrew first bought me his book of poetry:
I want memories that germinate
I want to spread the shed years on us as a mulch.


A.J. said...

I concur. I love being married and I love sleeping too... perfect! :-) What is she babbling about I here you say... who knows! She's off of caffeine and slowly loosing her mind it would seem.

Sarah Aubrey said...

Good for you! Stay off caffeine, AJ. I fully support it. It'll get better .

And you're NOT loosing your mind. (*snap it off*). :)

Andrew G said...

Lovely, just lovely. I particularly like this quote from Thompson, "These qualities...have gradually become as familiar as my own hand". I'm happy that we have things to come that we can't even imagine.