Wednesday, July 08, 2009

crouching tiger

Andrew, asleep, is one of my favourite things in the world. I've mentioned it here, here, and here. Anyone asleep is pretty much adorable, but it's the juxtaposition of Andrew's daytime persona and his asleep persona that charm me the most.

My husband is a strong, assertive, firstborn alpha male. He has a preternatural gift of leadership. He is as quick with his opinions as he is firm with them. He oversees a youth group, a cell group, a band, an album, our finances, and the strict training of our 4-month old lab all while drawing up blueprints for the future. He loves innovation. He loves intentionality. He loves intelligence. He's the character in the story that you want to be on the same side as. For many reasons.

Where Andrew goes, action follows. Whether it's social or strategic or creative: he is kinetic energy. That's not to say that he's frenetic because his actions - internally and externally - are always deliberate.

This confidence, which Kris Vallotton says "always looks like arrogance to the insecure", has carried its share of woes including misunderstandings, assumptions and intimidation. Somehow, those who misunderstand, assume and are intimidated (including, on occasion, yours truly) are invited to eat humble pie when it is proven that he had, in fact, nothing but the best intention and outcome in mind. And, oh! the outcome. The boy has a touch of genius about him.

He wears sleep well. It is his state of uncoiling and unraveling. It is his time of peace and safety. My little heart melts because who am I - me, with my bad moods and barbed words - who am I to share this bed? Who am I to see him so poufy-haired, so slack-jawed, so utterly like his six year old self in weathered, matte, 4x6" photographs displayed in his grandparents' basement?

What is my shoulder that he would touch it in the middle of the night to see if I am cold and then, because I am, to pull the duvet over me?

"And what shoulder and what art
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?"
(The Tiger, William Blake)

"Greatness lies not in being strong, but in the right use of strength."
(Henry Ward Beecher

1 comment:

Andrew G said...

jeez, I'm embarrassed now...

Oh, and that William Blake poem is absolutely astounding. One of my favs