mama monday: rent-a-baby

This morning Melissa, mother of Noah, called up and asked if I would like to babysit Noah for a period of two hours this afternoon.

WOULD I?

I managed something to the effect of, "Well, if it would help you out, by all means..." since I didn't want to creep her out with my enthusiasm.  I will chronicle my Adventures With Noah here on Mama Monday.

12:55 p.m.  
Oberon and I excitedly await Noah's arrival.

1:27 p.m.
Realize that I am still in my pyjamas and housecoat.  Change into normal people clothes and make myself presentable.

1:51 p.m.
With extra time on my hands, wash Solomon and Oberon.  Solomon shakes himself dry after he comes out from behind the shower curtain.  Twice.

Give Oberon a mohawk.

2:07 p.m.
BABY ACQUIRED!

Melissa gives me a quick rundown of the diaper bag's contents and goes off to volunteer at the Romero House.  Isn't she great?

2:17 p.m.
Notice how difficult it is to do everything with one hand whilst holding an infant.  Including, but not limited to:

• Open a Tupperware container.  
• Place contents of Tupperware container on a plate.  
• Place plate in the microwave.  
• Take plate, along with cutlery and glass of water, to the table to eat.

2:23 p.m.
Piece of broccoli misses my mouth and falls on my jeans.  I consider dabbing the spot with a napkin.  See that we are out of napkins.  Consider using toilet paper from the bathroom directly behind me.  Figure that will involve me getting up, with Noah, and attempting to rip toilet paper from the roll with one hand.  Leave broccoli stain on jeans.

While I'm eating lunch with Noah, Oberon takes his revenge for the mohawk and types this:

nhbnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn


2:35 p.m.

Change Noah's diaper.  Noah starts fussing.  Shirt gets momentarily stuck on Noah's head while I'm changing him.  Noah voices his grave displeasure.

2:50 p.m.

Drive Solomon crazy by using "his" voice with Noah.  Terms that have previously been used solely for Solomon must now be shared.  Baby, Beebee, Coco, Bean, Cocobean.  Also: "Are you hungry?" which we taught Solomon and I just used on Noah.  Solomon looks hungry.  So does Noah.  Noah is noisier about it.

2:53 p.m.

Place bottle in cup of boiled water for five minutes.

2:58 p.m.
Remove bottle from cup of boiled water.

3:05 p.m.
Going...

...going...

...gone.

3:19 p.m.
Best:

Oberon still cleaning himself from offensive bath.

3:38 p.m.
Andrew comes home.  Noah wakes up.  Andrew graciously offers to take Noah to relieve my arm.  I have only been holding him for a half an hour.

3:51 p.m.
Melissa arrives and Noah is all smiles.  Baby successfully babysat!

foto friday: fa la la la la la la la la

Some yueltide photos to tide you over while I leave work early to finish my Christmas shopping...yes, the Christmas shopping I vowed to have completed by November 30th.

Less urination in the elevator, please.

If I could magically suck anyone's creative brain out of them and use it for my own, it would be Melissa's.  The following are some decorations she's implemented in their adorable, 2-bedroom apartment. 

 

The photo doesn't show it very well, but that's the fireplace station on cable TV.  With crackling sound effects.

 Our work Christmas party.  I've been pretty good at keeping the agency I work for vague (so as not to be dooced), and the tradition continues...

Our "Betty Draper" drank too much and had to nurse his mean hangover the next day.

foto friday: four fluffy feathers on a fiffer-feffer-feff

Some photos that are mildly entertaining and, at very least, diverting on a Friday afternoon.

 Dinner at a friend's house - after spoiling us rotten with an incredible meal, we were presented with this homemade dessert.  Haze courtesy of its heavenly aura.

 

 

My brother, and basement tenant, helping us set up our new couches from IKEA.  We assumed that couches would, at least, come fully assembled and not require the hated allen key.  We assumed wrongly.

Andrew and my sister-in-law, Sarah.  Not so much helping.

A fancy photo of the juicy tomatoes we harvested from our garden.

Our new video conference screen, whereby we can view all four, newly merged offices: Toronto, Montréal, Atlanta, and New York.  The top right-hand corner shows me, in Toronto, taking this picture.  The bottom-right screen corner shows New York's office, looking at Toronto office, and me taking the picture of them in New York...and me in Toronto.  Next up: holodecks.

A fancy picture of our dog, Solomon, attempting to retrieve his yellow tennis ball in a carpet of yellow leaves.  Photographer: my husband.

These make me want to call the number.  EVERY SINGLE TIME.  If it wasn't for my husband's logic I think we'd have one of those crazy cat houses.

I'm offended that this is the type of junk mail we're receiving now.

Melissa's adorable little salon set-up, where she did my hair for Jordan & Noel's autumn wedding.

Her vintage salon chair.  Can you stand it?  I can't stand it.  It's too cute.  Make it stop.

Jordan (screenwriting graduate) and Noel (journalist-in-training) and their incredible, theatre-themed wedding held at Capitol Event Theatre.

This guy is superhot.  So, incidentally, are my red shoes.

I don't know if I would ever seriously wear one of these, but I'd give respect to anyone who did.

Our cat, Oberon, in our bedroom.  Where he should not be.  Which is why he is looking ruefully back from whence he came.  Because am in bed...with a squirt bottle in my hand.

My awesome brother dressed up as his hero, Antoine Dodson for Hallowe'en.  Actually, for Sunday church on Hallowe'en morning.  Which makes him even awesomer.

And as soon as Hallowe'en is over...

I love packages from our Montréal office.  I'm "Mme".

 NICOLE, LOOK!  CHRISTMAS CAME EARLY!

mama monday: healthy competition?

Too many of the blogs written by women trying to conceive only focus on the negative.  Not being pregnant YET.  Not having a family YET.  Not being a mom YET.  The competition with other women who are pregnant can be particularly vicious, which is something that has never made sense to me. 

I'd assume that if one is so keen on babies that one would celebrate babies wherever they are, in any circumstance that they are. 

Pregnancy isn't the only stage on which girls have showdowns.  It's found everywhere from home ownership to home decor to marriage to weddings to relationships to fashion to careers to education and alllllll the way back to the playground.  Girls can be mean.  And usually to each other.

I'd like to take this Mama Monday to celebrate the girls who aren't mean.  The ones that let other girls into their heart, no matter the cost, and keep them there.  The girls who listen as well as speak.  The girls who give the hard advice as much as the easy advice.  And here's to hoping I end up more and more like one of those girls.

Melissa and her hubby, Jon, gave birth to the littlest friend in our group on October 10, 2010 (10/10/10) at 10:15 p.m.  His name is Noah Contstance Börger and although we've been saying hi to him womb-side for 9 months, it's amazing to meet him in person.  He's very, very fortunate to have a mom who doesn't have a mean bone in her body. 

Mama's hello.
Papa's hello.

foto friday: just chillin' at the home show

Someone at Andrew's school gave him free tickets to the National Home Show two weeks ago and since free things get us all excited, we went.

We were consequently quite pleased that we didn't buy tickets.  It's a bit of a bore, lots of exhibits and pamphlet-pushers, and very few booths that we liked.  Still, FREE IS FREE, and we amused ourselves regardless.

Melissa, bless her, came along despite being a week away from giving birth.  Her nesting impulses drove her.  Incidentally, we saw a few booths with art so poorly rendered (Andrew: "I could paint that.  And I don't paint.") that we coerced Melissa into opening a booth next year with some of her awesome art instead.

Just chillin' in my gangsta whirlpool.

Just chillin' with my homeboy, Bob Villa.

Just chillin' with his kristal chandeliers.

Just chillin' in a Japanese full-body massage chair.

Just chillin' in my dream wine cellar.

Just chillin' in the reflection of this helpful sign.

foto friday:

More amateur photography from my iPhone and me.  We make a pretty good team.  Unless I'm receiving a text.

Yonge Street - the brightest thing on a grey, Toronto day.

This snail mocked me on my recent jog.  I'm pretty sure I heard him say something about chilling out, for heaven's sake.

If you include wings, anything can be an angel costume! 
Even a bathing suit!

A fabulous Indian restaurant,  Shala-Mar, on Roncesvalles.

The bountiful harvest from our garden.  

Manicures/pedicures with the girls.  It took three Vietnamese (one more is looking on) to pull Melissa's jeans back down over her calves.

Our morning greeting from Oberon.  The affection is all for show: he's hungry and cuteness = being fed.

Know when to quit.

This is the outcome of the storefront that promised "Something Awesome".  They delivered on their promise.  Check them out here and here.  Go, Junction, go!

Our latest addiction: Killer Bunnies.  I can't explain it to you. 
Killer Bunnies must be experienced.