Rage Against the Machine

"To suffer woes which Hope thinks infinite;

To forgive wrongs darker than death or night;
To defy Power which seems omnipotent;
To love, and bear; to hope till Hope creates
From its own wreck the thing it contemplates."
- Percy Bysshe Shelley

Which seems pretty dramatic a quote in reference to an apartment hunt, but it just popped into my head. Today I fell hard for a pretty little one bedroom right beside High Park. Hardwood floors. Large windows. First floor (yes, Dad, first floor...which means you won't have to carry my oak wardrobe up three flights of winding staircase...again...).

God's been briefed on the issue and now all I can do is sleep on it and wait.

ch-ch-ch-changes

I'm pretty sure I've effectively killed my readership by remaining incommunicado for so long. However, if there still happens to be a few of you out there, here is a brief, visual update (for the ADD-generation).

My desired neighbourhood, High Park.

My lovely, temporary roommate, Linda Cho.

My new boss, Ron Baxter Smith.
A Certain Someone, Andrew Gazaneo.

The concert I'm attending this Saturday, Imogen Heap.

So, let go, so let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's alright
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, yeah let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown

- "Let Go" (Frou Frou)

well suited

"The Wanderer above the Mists"
Caspar David Friedrich

So. I am employed. Not only that, but I've been employed by a good family friend whom I've known for years (bonus), who works in photography (bonus), and who needed a job to be filled by someone with my exact skills (bonus). Oh, and it's downtown.

As Andrew would say, "PTL."

Spring and autumn have always been seasons of change for me. Autumn usually more than spring (what is it about September that seems so volatile?) but this year spring has been giving me a run for my money. I long for the moment when the gears will shift somewhat-permenantly, to be able to take a moment to breathe, to dream, to write, and, perhaps, unpack my storage box.

"I doubt sometimes whether, after all, a quiet and unagitated life would have suited me: yet I sometimes long for it."
- Lord Byron

"You know well enough how the wind blows this way and that. You hear it rustling through the trees, but you have no idea where it comes from or where it's headed next. That's the way it is with everyone "born from above' by the wind of God, the Spirit of God."
(John 3:8)

"The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
The answer is blowin' in the wind."
- Bob Dylan

just dandy

I know that dandelions are weeds and they don't smell nice and they ruin lawns and they populate like a virus, but...

it's nice to see yellow after months and months of winter.

I took a towel, a novel, and a pair of sunglasses down to Port Credit park today to tan (post SPF 20), read, and rest. It was, to quote a friend, "bliss".

...and change.

My friends from university, Nik and Thea (alias: "Nick and Al"), are getting hitched this summer. The thought fills me with such joy...I tear up. It could just be a girl thing (it's definitely a Hunter thing) to start crying when the obvious response to such news would be laughter and smiles. They adore each other, I adore them both, so why do I cry?

Ladies, help me out. I doubt it's just me who starts crying when people tell me of engagements (Shay, calling from England, had to wait while I composed myself before continuing with her happy news...), promotions involving geographical relocations, births, etc. A (male) friend of mine admitted that the last time he cried was putting together a slideshow for his sister's wedding from childhood photos.

It makes me think of this quote: "All pleasures contain an element of sadness." (Jonathan Eibeschutz) Now, before I'm lambasted for admitting to thoughts/feelings that are not saturated in joy and bliss, let's all recall the book of Lamentations...or Job...or even Proverbs. Life's benchmarks celebrate new beginnings but, in order for there to be a beginning, mustn't there also be an end? Even if the new outweighs the old in a hundred, thousand ways...aren't we all conscious of loss?

One loves the sunset when one is sad...
- Le Petit Prince

Anne Shirley: Why do people have to grow up and marry, change?
Gilbert Blythe: Oh, you'd change. If someone ever admitted that they were head over heels for you, you'd be swept off your feet in a moment.
Anne Shirley: I would not, and I defy anyone who would try and make me change.
Gilbert Blythe: You do?

inprint

One small step for poetry, one giant step for a poet. I have had a few poems published in Ink Pot Press' summer release, Inprint. The hardest part has been writing/revising the autobiographical blurb that they'll put on the web, and accompany it with a photo that won't make me look like a goon in a few years. Or months.

L'chaim!

4-9 a.m., Saturday, April 22nd

Yes, the rumours are true. www.myspace.com/saubrey

This morning the YWAMi.net team decided to brave as many misfortunes as possible. Up at 4:00 (that's a.m., baby) we dressed and stumbled out into the rain-slicked streets of predawn Brooklyn.

Temperature: 9 degrees.
Subway trip to NBC Studios, Rockefeller Center: 1 1/2 hours.
Cost: 4 US$, return.
Realizing that SNL was not being taped on the day that we showed up early for tickets: priceless.

Instead, we comforted ourselves at a local diner where two eggs and three pieces of bacon cost us $8 each. From there, we braved the elements towards Times Square to take a few shots. On the way home, we (OK, OK, it was entirely my mistake...it was early...I was tired) got off at 45th Street. Problem is: the church we were staying at was at 66th Street. Eleven blocks later, shivering, soaked, and exhausted, we showed up just in time for morning worship and session. It's going to be a looooong day.

Something that I've been enjoying tremendously is the bilingual nature of this conference. Everything has to be translated from English to French to accomodate the 20 or so staff members from YWAM Montréal. It's such a cool reminder of how diverse cities are.

prends mon âme
prends mon cœur
je te donne tout
prends ma vie
me voici
je te donne tout
mon cœur est à toi
tout à toi