Monday, March 20, 2006


Kate - best friend extraordinaire - pinpointed this song, after hearing it on the radio, as one that perfectly explained my current state of mind. She wins.

In the song, Natasha Bedingfield (rumoured to have been a YWAM base brat such as myself, along with her famous brother...little bit of trivia for you) advises:
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Living by faith is a lot scarier, often, in practice than it is in profession. And I'm not (just) talking about finances. I'm talking about *gasp* not having all the answers. I'm not sure if it's North American culture, or a first-born mentality, or having stubborn DNA anymore but somewhere someone must have made me believe that I needed all the answers. That I have to fight for myself, because no one else will do it for me. I'm convinced that it's no longer a gender issue, it's an all round human issue...and one that has infiltrated every area of our sad, paranoid little lives.

I wonder how Jesus puts up with our fake bravado. Our forecasts about the future (wasn't the end of the world supposed to occur at the turn of the new millenium?), our science (having visited the ROM this week, I wonder how many "facts" will have to be altered as they discover more about dinosaurs, for example), our theories, our philosophies, even our theologies and doctrines.

I'm trying to find the joy, the peace, the comfort in having an unwritten page or two ahead of me still.

Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One Who is leading. It is a life of Faith, not of intellect and reason, but a life of knowing Who makes us "go."
- Oswald Chambers

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