Thursday, April 17, 2008

april showers

April's a funny month.

It's full of hope and promise and expectation. And change. And uncertainty.

A lovely friend of mine was lamenting, recently, what we have now deemed The Anne Syndrome which is taken from the lines:

Anne Shirley: Why do people have to grow up and marry, change?
Gilbert Blythe:
Oh, you'd change. If someone ever admitted that they were head over heels for you, you'd be swept off your feet in a moment.
Anne Shirley:
I would not, and I defy anyone who would try and make me change.

Tomorrow marks five weeks until the wedding. The thought of being married makes me feel all gooey inside - like when you're at the top of a very high part in a roller coaster, about to plummet, and you can't squeeze the railing in front of you because your hands just won't work.

I researched past Aprils on my blog and discovered that in 2006, when I was allowing my heart to thaw and learning to trust, and in 2007, when I was contemplating a life spent with Andrew and wondering when it would happen, I was no more sure of my future or what it would hold that I am now.

April is unusual. Crocuses are sprouting up beside dirty, leftover mounds of snow. The change in sunlight invigorates and confuses us. We're ecstatic about the warmer weather, but hesitant to put our parkas into storage yet.

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

And a time for every purpose, under heaven

- The Byrds, inspired by Ecclesiastes 1:8

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