Tuesday, June 02, 2009


I've officially survived 29 years. That means I'm technically into my 30th year now, but I'm OK to wait for the official OMIGOSH, I'M NOT IN MY TWENTIES ANYMORE moment to hit in 364 days, thankyouverymuch.

In this photo I am the awkwardly prepubescent age of 12. My family went on an outreach to Panama for a month when I was in sixth grade. That's a wild iguana. The face on my brother, Simeon, who was 7 years old at the time, had never been made before and I have never seen him make it since. It's the I DON'T TRUST YOU, IGUANA face*. I also love how we match. I'm sure it was unintentional because, no, my parents weren't the type to dress us the same. But there might have been a sale on yellow cotton garments at the Tigerbrand in Cambridge, Ontario that year.

Some things haven't changed in 17 years.
  • I still love sundresses. I'm wearing one now.
  • I still love yellow. I'm wearing a yellow cardigan now.
  • I still love travel. The heat, the food, the sleeping arrangements and the bugs didn't bother me even at this squeamish preteen stage.
  • I would still be more concerned about beaming at a camera than a reptile a few inches from my face.
  • I still don't know why I wear a bra.
Most of the girls on the team that my parents were leading (late teens and 20s) couldn't stand the thought/sight/knowledge of the huge insects we routinely shared living space with. Granted, some of the beetles were the size of my hand. And could fly. But the day that we found this iguana showed me something: the size of our fears shouldn't matter. Here was a 3 foot iguana, from nose to tail (which was small in comparison to most of the other, unreachable, ones we spotted lounging in coconut trees), and it froze when handled. IT, God said, was scared of ME.

Over the past week, I've been reminded about how strange and silly it is for us to fear. It paralyzes us, makes fools of us, routinely upsets our plans to move forward in life. Fear is the opposite of love, and my God is MADE of love. He cannot exist UNLESS he is love. And he's conspiring IN MY FAVOUR. "So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose?"

* Although it did bear an uncanny resemblance to his I DON'T TRUST YOU, ANDREW face, when Andrew and I first started dating.

"Light, space, zest— that's God!
So, with him on my side I'm fearless,
afraid of no one and nothing."
(Psalm 27:1, The Message)

“Named must your fear be before banish it you can.”
- Yoda


s@bd said...

how much do i love that you quote Yoda & King David (probably) in one post?

Betsy said...

Um, that expression on your little brother's face is so great I can't stop looking.

I wandered over from Dooce after reading "UNSEE! UNSEE!" because that's what I was saying when I Google Imaged "warble."

You've been warned.

Sarah Aubrey said...

Welcome, Betsy! Any friend of Dooce's is a friend of mine.

Anonymous said...

Oh Sarah - how I LOVE this photo - I remember that photo...I remember the day...remember trail mix in the plane (or rather ALL OVER THE PLANE)?

Oh dear, it can't really be that long ago can it?



Sarah Aubrey said...


How can I get in touch with you, Caron? I'm on Facebook, Twitter, Blogger and Gmail and yet...you're harder than ever to track down.

Aide-moi, s'il vous plait!