Wednesday, September 29, 2010

wifersize wednesday: the couple that prays together...

If the slogan were true, presumably, there wouldn't be a 21-34% (BTW: who keeps saying 50%?...let's find that person and tell them to stop being a party pooper) divorce rate among those claiming to be Christians.  But I'm not here to rant about divorce or why/when/where/how it functions in society.  I'd rather stick to Precious Moments™ stuffed angel dolls.

No one needs to tell married people that marriage is difficult.  We know.  Just last night I had a near meltdown trying to decide if I wanted to watch "The Client", "Double Jeopardy", or "Micmacs" for date night.  Was I in the mood for a thriller starring Tommy Lee Jones, a different thriller starring Tommy Lee Jones, or a foreign comedy?  We consulted each of the films' Tomatometers, watched the trailers, and eventually resorted to rock, paper, scissors (first, between thriller and foreign, then between each of the thillers).  Andrew learned last night that when I say, "I don't care" about a movie choice, I mean just that.  Making me care will result in me wedging my head between couch cushions to scream.

Life isn't always easy and it doesn't just end at date night movie selection.  Sometimes it's job selection, or car selection, or house selection.  Sometimes it's family holidays, or hard days at work, or trying to have a baby.

Last April, when Andrew and I were in Mexico for a pastor's retreat (sounds glamourous, I know, except that we were only there for 48 hours which was just long enough for me to contract a case of explosive diarrhea), he rolled over in bed and proposed, "Let's pray together before we go to sleep.  It doesn't have to be long, and it doesn't have to be every night, but I'd like it if we prayed together."

It seemed like a decent enough question - after all: we are pastors.  Some of you are horrified that we don't pray together all THROUGH the night but, no, we don't.  We're human too.  We like to dive into bed after a long day, kiss, and fall asleep as soon as our bodies allow us to (10 seconds, on average, for me and about 40 minutes for Andrew).  We'd pray together for The Big Things but hadn't, as of yet, prayed regularly, every night, for everything.

And, because we're human, it was awkward at first.  Often we'd forget.  Often we'd I'd pretend to forget when really I couldn't think of anything to pray about, or I was mad at something, or I just wanted to sleep.  But we became used to it and now we do it fairly regularly.  You know what?  It's really, really nice.  Nicer than I thought it would be.  There's something wonderfully soothing about your husband's-right-beside-your-pillow-voice chatting to God about the day, about the problems we both faced in it, and about people in our lives we love.

The Washington Post wrote an article a little while back entitled "Couples who share religious practices tend to be happier than those who don't".  In it, an interviewed woman sums it up nicely:
"Prayer is the great reconciler."
Since marriage is difficult I figure we should invest on being reconciled to each other at least daily.  And since God was with us on Day 1 of our marriage, it's nice to end each of its days with him.

"The family that prays together stays together; 
and if you stay together, you will love one another with 
the same love with which God loves each one of us."
[Mother Theresa]

1 comment:

Andrew G said...

Beautiful, La!