manly men, girly girls

Ten years ago (wow...I can recount in decades now, like a real adult) I worked as a counsellor at a summer camp. Amid the slew of in-jokes, camp names and code words we coined a term known as "Fluffy kat" which we knew to mean a flirty girl. Cat spelled with a "k" because it seemed...flirtier. We had matching T-shirts commissioned in Huntsville: red lettering on white cotton. Tight fitting, of course. I'm sure someone still has a photographic evidence.

What reminded me of the Fluffy Kat phenomenon today was none other than the new spring/summer ad campaign from French Connection. The print ads are here, here, and here. The commercials (directed as mini French movies) are here. A co-worker's quote: "I just want to eat them like little French...macaroons."

Since I've been on a gender kick recently, these ads made me realize what I love about advertising and art. French Connection reveals just enough of a stereotype (the French-accented narration doesn't hurt either...who is to argue with the French?) that both sexes feel honourably and wryly represented.

The two sides are not competing, not arguing, not vying for power, but rather mirroring the other like flip sides of a coin. Equal, but different.

Also, this campaign makes me want to go to Paris in a way I have never before encountered.

Wifersize Wednesday: manly men, part 2

(click above image to read the ad)

Last week I posted about a turn I recently spotted in media: masculinity revived. Seems as if I wasn't the only one.

Heated debates here: The Inspiration Room, here: NY Daily News, here: WalletPop, to link but a few (including ones on websites called feministing.com, treehugger.com, and jezebel.com...natrually). Just type "dockers ad wear the pants sexism" into Google for more inspiration. You'll have your fill of "Does the Dockers ad campaign promote sexism? Click 'yes' or 'no' now!" banners.

Can't sexism go both ways? Haven't we been telling men to shut up long enough that they have forgotten how to speak up? Haven't we been telling them that they're stupid long enough that they've stopped giving their opinion? Haven't we been telling them that we're strong enough to do our job as well as theirs that they've let us?

(this can also apply to other "isms"...haven't we been telling our culture that youth prized above age so we are devoid of the wisdom that honouring the wise brings?)

When I read the Dockers print ad in the Metro on Monday, I was impressed. Impressed by its composition, impressed by its wording, impressed by its balls. I know this world would benefit from men who aren't afraid to be manly.

Just so we don't misunderstand each other: I'M ALL FOR EQUALITY. Equality does not mean sameness. I am equal to Andrew, but very (very) different. Andrew was the first to say that he didn't want to marry a pastor's wife, but a pastor. We are equally strong, ambitious, creative, educated, and opinionated. We plot together, plan together, produce together, and promote each other. But I love it when Andrew wears the pants.

Last night, for Tuesday Date Night, we caught "The Young Victoria" at the Revue Cinema. Emily Blunt and Rupert Friend do a tremenous job of portraying the young marriage between Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. It's not without its feuds over gender roles. Imagine, instead of who wears the pants it's who wears the crown! And yet their hope for a solid union - in marriage and reign - was in allowing Albert to be more than a first-class servant boy, and instead a man, a husband, and a father.

Wifercize Wednesday: men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men...

Anyone have the theme song to "Three and a Half Men" in your head?

I noticed an odd trend while perusing Superbowl XLIV's ads (because we all know they make two teams wearing tights and shoulderpads to duke it out over a major holiday weekend just to satiate my advertising needs). It seems as if the new definition of manliness is to be slightly hen-pecked, but complain about it.

Men Without Pants, Dockers

Tagline: "Calling all men: it's time to wear the pants."

Injury Report, FLO TV

Tagline: "Change out of that skirt, Jason."

Man's Last Stand, Dodge

Tagline: "...and because I do this, I will drive the car I want to drive."

Journey to Comfort, Nivea

Tagline: "Now that you're comfortable with who you are, isn't it time for comfortable skin?"


Though laughing, I couldn't help but notice that there was something in each of these videos that made me feel unsettled. Men: are things really that bad, or do you jest? Women: do we really want our men to go bra shopping with us?

It reminds me of a great song by Alanis Morissette (SHE DOES HAVE SOME GOOD SONGS) called A Man, in which she sings out against (that's right: against) hostile feminism. Some of the lyrics are:

We don't fare well with endless reprimands
We don't do well with a life served as a sentence
This won't work well if you're hell bent on your offense
I am a man who understands your reticence

I am a man who still does what he can
To dispel our archaic reputation
I am a man who has heard all he can
'Cuz I don't fare well with endless punishment

I remember finding these lyrics during my own gender war, where I was trying to figure out if I was mad at men for being too manly or mad at men for not being manly enough. Not to mention trying to figure out what "manly" actually was. What I knew was that, as women, we had to take our influence seriously: for the most part, the men I knew were complying with our demands for equality, respect, and honour but also allowing the pendulum to swing so far in its compensation that they also felt maligned.

There are so many schools of thought on the issue, from Eldredge to Driscoll to Meyer to Cunningham to my own husband, Andrew. All of these are Christian references, however, and ones that I'm used to discussing in a church context. Interesting how the Superbowl, geared towards male camaraderie, inspired secular companies to humourously address the same issue.

Are our women too womanly? Are they too manly? Are men too manly? Are they too womanly?

Personally, from a ministerial perspective, and as a woman, I LOVE the Hillsong Men's Conference promo videos: