Wednesday, May 18, 2011

wifercize wednesday: husbandry fail

I like gardening.  

It is not to be assumed that I am good at gardening.  Like I enjoy painting but generally with my hands and instead of for the purpose of art more for the purpose of getting messy.

For a few weeks little envelopes would show up at our house addressed to Andrew from various locations around the world.  The States.  Thailand.  At first I thought he was buying magic beans, like Jim tricked Dwight into trading on The Office, but they turned out to be organic seeds.

My husband is very good at gardening.

He had ordered lettuce, red lettuce, mint, rosemary, and basil seeds.  I promptly offered to plant and nurture them for him.  

This picture would be less impressive if you knew just how much went into establishing that these plants WILL NOT GROW.

First: the lettuce (of regular and red variety) planted and bloomed nicely at first.  Then I made the error of transplanting my two red lettuce experiments into larger containers, an operation that did not agree with half of the red lettuce family.  Although it could have been the vinegar.

Second: the vinegar.  I planted the mint and rosemary (top two middle containers) one sunny morning and read the package carefully: both required gentle misting as opposed to direct watering.  I grabbed a water bottle from our kitchen and misted generously.  Mist, mist, mist.  Mist, mist.  By the time I began misting the red lettuce for fun I could smell the distinct odour of vinegar.  Because I had grabbed our vinegar/water mix that we use to DISINFECT THE SINK.  

I Googled "vinegar + gardening" to realize that vinegar does, in fact, have several functions in the garden.  All of them lethal.  How to kill grubs.  How to kill weeds.  How to kill germs on gardening tools.  How to keep neighbourhood cats away.  

Third: planting seeds too deeply.  Although the package read "plant 1/4 inch below the surface" I tried ignoring the instructions for the lettuceseseses and realized what they meant by 1/4 inch was barely dusted in potting soil.  Hence, the lettuce's (partial) success and the basil's utter defeat (top right container).

Now when I look at my little plot of farming I see this:

and I hope that lessons learned in the garden are learned only once and this means I will one day go on to have a long and prosperous career as a horticulturist.


MelissaBoerger said...

Haha, I feel you Sarah. I also have the black thumb, but not forever!

Mie said...

lol @the vinegar casualties. You sound like you have a lovely life, Sarah!


Anonymous said...

Bahaha the vinegar causalities! Too funny, Sarah. Thanks for posting! I love your writing :) - Emily H