shaken, not stirred

I heart Bond. It's the tailored tuxes, it's the martini, it's the guns, it's the rough-and-tumble, it's the I-barely-know-your-name-but-you'll-be-my-Bond-girl-for-the-next-two-hours attitude. I think every woman has a place in her heart for Bond.

I remember the day that a older man stopped me on the street to remark that I looked like one-time Bond girl, Britt Ekland. It made my day. Nay, month.

The new Bond movie is out, Casino Royale, and the trailer is stellar. I've watched it several times in a row. I'd also like to point out that Bond has managed to graduate from chasing random skirt to actually falling for his Bond girl this time. I approve.

Raowr.

43 things

Dan got me started on this: 43 Things. It's actually quite challanging to come up with 43. I made it to 24 and decided to take a break and come back to it later. Check it out. It's fascinating to see what other people are wanting to accomplish with their lives.

Also, I'd like to point out that Nik and Thea have arrived in Pyongchon safely and are (too) excited to be teaching Korean children:
And because I promised, I tracked down the "Scottish Haka" commercial, in celebration of men in kilts, that I've often told people about and now you can too:

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

the silver screen

I'm a self-proclaimed trailer junkie. I love movie trailers. I'll often go to apple.com/trailers just to view the 1-3 minute "amuse-bouches" laid out like bite-sized candies. In movie theaters, I'll forget what movie I paid $10.50 (if I use my over-four-years-old-outdated U of T student card) for after watching a few trailers. I'm also that person who shrieks when you try to fast forward through trailers at the beginning of a rented or at-home DVD.

Every once in a while, I'll notice trends in the movies that are being released. For example, right now there are seven new trailers that are based on religious, Biblical, or spiritual themes.

• The Reaping deliniates a modern day visitation of the seven plagues of Egypt.
• The Nativity Story is the narrative of Jesus' birth.
• Driving Lessons is about a "shy, bookish 17-year-old...[and his] unpromising summer vacation...spent attending bible classes, and having driving lessons with his overbearing and overly religious mother".
• Al Franken: God Spoke follows a comedian, documentary style, and "his relentless campaign against George Bush and the Right Wing".
• Conversations With God, based on the book, is about a man who writes down God's messages...and becomes a millionaire.
• Darshan The Embrace, another documentary, hails Amma, a spirtual guide and "Mahatma" who has given her embrace to an estimated over 26 million people worldwide.
• And Jesus Camp, which disturbed me most of all, showing the "revival" in America and its manipulation of children, is being hailed as "an admirably even-handed film" although the imagery makes me doubt it very much.

I'm not quite sure what to make of all this but somehow the mixing of stereotypes, politics, sarcasm, the supernatural, financial success, and Hollywood makes me feel nauseous.

I'd love to hear people's thoughts on this trend. Am I just oversensitive?

deflated

Feelin' a wee bit "in it"* right now.

• Went into work this morning. Was fired. A first for me.
• Biked home in the rain.
  
• This: "Unfortunately, you cannot post a comment on a non-beta blog or claim a mobile blog using your Google Account. These features are coming soon." explains why I can't properly post comments on many people's blogs (or post several of the same comments, much to the annoyance of others). I knew there was a catch to this Google Blog upgrade...

Despite it all, I feel quite calm. I had a feeling this was all coming down the tube (in fact, my morning was pretty much ruined with the sense that something ominous was going to happen...) and when I discovered it was only the loss of the job that was causing me to loose sleep anyway, I was comforted.

And now, on to the job search. Again.

Septembers, for the past eight years running, have always brought this kind of personal-detoxing shock my way. And every time God demolishes something pretty I have prided myself on (a Two Year Plan, a job, a relationship), he is so faithful to give back more than I could have ever dreamed possible in return.

"The bricks have fallen down,
but we will rebuild them with dressed stone;
the fig trees have been felled,
but we will replace them with cedars."
(Isaiah 9:10)

* from the movie Garden State -
Sam: "You're in it right now, aren't you?"
Andrew: "What?"
Sam: "My mom always says that, when she can see like I'm working something out in my head, she's like, 'you're in it right now' and I'm looking at you telling this story, and you're definitely in it."

tall and tanned and young and lovely

I have something to report.I feel guilty even typing this. I'm not supposed to make this public until Kate gives me the go-ahead. But I can't help it. I'm just going to save this as a draft and post it later...

I'm sure that they'll post the news/story on their own blogs/websites, along with a pictoral narrative, so I'll just tell you my side of the story.

Kate and Paul and I met up for coffee this evening, at the Green Bean in Oakville. Kate handed me a card. I read the card. It read:

"September 1, 2006
To my dearest Sarah,
After many-a-conversation, the time has finally come. Your cupid e-mails served their purpose in making a dreamy match. For that, my friend, my fiancé and I thank you. Let me take this opportunity now to ask you, friend, officially;
Will you be my maid of honour at our upcoming wedding?
Love, Kate DIAS"

Now, you must realize, I read this:
"...Sarah...time has finally come...cupid...match...fiancé..." and then I stopped reading, screamed, and burst into tears simultaneously. Many hugs, more tears, more shrieking. It was a great moment. I find it amusing that she asked me to be her maid of honour...even after about five years of discussing it in detail. Maid of honour. What an honour.

I'm still a little dazed. Several damp Kleenexes and a very long GO Train/streetcar ride back to High Park later, I'm listening to songs that remind me of Kate and it's all starting to sink in: Paul Graham, my friend of over 10 years (I was unaware of his real name for many of those years - I have referred to him as "Boyle", his camp name, since the age of 16), proposed to my best friend in the world, Kate Dias, in a kilt on a mountain top.

IN A KILT.
ON A MOUNTAIN TOP.
And she has the rock that will break her arm. All is right with the world.
Paul and Kate are engaged.
Paul and Kate are getting married.
Paul and Kate will be married.
And I am so, so, so, SO very happy for them.

This very secret
That you're trying to conceal
Is the very same one
That you're dying to reveal
Go tell her how you feel
This very secret heart
Go out and share it
This very secret heart
- Feist, "Secret Heart"

message on the 506

While taking the 506 Carlton streetcar the other day, I found a plastic bag that had been left by another passenger by accident. In this bag was an empty greeting card box, several cardboard coin roll wrappers, a permenant marker, a pencil, and a handful of cut-outs: poetry, advice, verses, etc.

Below is what I found on one of them:

"Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone; to have a deep, full relationship with another; to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God says, "NO. Not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone; with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me; to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone. I love you, my child. Until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me; exclusive of anyone or anything else; exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning and stop wishing. Allow me to bring that person to you. You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You just wait. That's all."


"Don't be anxious, don't worry; don't look around at the things others have or what I've given them. Don't look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking up to me, or you'll miss what I want to show you. You just keep looking up to me, for when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love more wonderful than you would have ever dreamed of. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready...I am working even this minute to have you both ready at the same time...until you are both satisfied, exclusively with me and the life I have prepared for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me. This is perfect love.

"And dear one, I want you to have this wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me, and enjoy materially and concretely, the everlasting union of beauty, perfection and love that I offer you with myself."

"Please know that I love you utterly. Believe it and be satisfied."

Author Unknown

(I found a slightly different version online here)

running to stand still

The Treadmill - A Philosophical Rant

When was the last time you spent an hour - an entire hour - doing "nothing"? TV doesn't count as studies have shown that viewing television uses less brain power than sleeping, and I'm not addressing laziness. I'm addressing the ridiculously imbalanced work to rest ratio that our society thrives on.

"Nothing", to me, can mean a variety of activities (reading, walking, writing, journaling) but I like to define "nothing" as a chunk of time devoid of time restraints. A chunk of time used to unwind as opposed to winding up. Andrew wears a T-shirt with "time is an invention" on it and I love it because it makes me stop and think...if time is an invention, and we invented time, why aren't we realizing that we're victims of our own invention?

I had a counseling session with a friend of mine yesterday and we discussed my general, frenetic state. It has been a lifetime habit, intensifying during university and again when I was an event coordinator for TVB, and has been almost non-stop over the past year; more specifically, the past six months. The essence of the chaos was pinpointed as a lingering fear of not arriving at my "destination"...but having little to no idea what/where the "destination" is. In the meantime, I miss out on the journey itself.

Frustrating.

Have you ever noticed that culture (urban culture, more poignantly) is fueled by people who are, in turn, fueled by coffee? This is not an original thought - I must admit that I stole it from my mother, Lois. Every morning (and afternoon, and late afternoon, and evening) we drink an extra-large, triple-shot, sugar-free hazelnut CUP OF ANXIETY with extra foam. To go. Because we couldn't possibly sit down to enjoy it.

This counselor-friend of mine mentioned that a friend of hers had recently gone to a Watchmen for the Nations retreat where the participants did "nothing" but listen and wait for God to speak. For four days. The unanimous revelation, at the end of the four days, was God's warning: the world is consumed with hurry - slow down, trust Me, be aware.

Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last
Just kicking down the cobblestones
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy
- Simon & Garfunkle, "The 59th Street Bridge Song"

"What can I say? I live my life to the utmost...I just try to stay loose, stay liquid, laugh a lot, and be ready. That's what Dupree's doing with his life's little pod, man. Staying nimble. Until I get the call from the mother ship. My raison d'etat."
- Randolf Dupree, "You, Me and Dupree"